Parenting
Parents of children with an attachment disorder have a very hard task to accomplish. To bring a child out of this serious illness and guide them into a world of love is a great responsibility. Although it is difficult, in many cases, it is possible with the right help.
There is no quick fix for attachment disorder. It takes a long time for the child to heal. I know this is hard to hear - it was for me. I wanted things better yesterday! It takes strength and perseverance to bring the child to healing. For success you must be willing to work harder on helping your child than you probably will work on anything else in your life. The pay off is the rebirth of your child - nothing can compare to that.
Parents should not work against each other and allow the child to triangulate them. It is essential that both parents be on the same team when guiding their child toward healing.
The type of parenting that often works with these most difficult of children is the type that takes them back to redo those early years of love and bonding that they missed. This time around, their needs will be met. At the same time, they must learn to accept limits as they should have in the beginning of their lives. This time they will learn to accept a loving parents limits.
There are several books and videos you can purchase and study to help you with the parenting part of the healing process. Please realize that therapeutic parenting is an essential part of this process and the parents must become educated and highly motivated to effect positive change.
A therapist who specializes in attachment and bonding problems is also a vital part of the treatment team but parents must be willing to work with the therapist.
A good therapist will guide you through the parenting and be able to answer your questions and help you strategize your day to day living. Parents cannot rely on the therapist to heal their child. It is a team effort and often mom is the biggest catalyst for positive change.
Web Sites and Books
I believe that it is necessary to research all the different approaches used to parent these exceptional children.
Nancy Thomas has a lot of info, great books and videos
made precisely for parenting a child with attachment disorder
Nancy Thomas Parenting
Deborah Hage also has great website
with informative articles, books, and more
Deborah Hage
Foster Cline and Jim Fay offer a
wonderful parenting program called
Love and Logic
Daniel Hughes has two good books
out that describe therapeutic parenting.
You can learn about books and learn where to
purchase them through his website at
Daniel Hughes
Martha Welch's book and video offer parenting ideas.
Martha Welch
Theraplay figured into our son's healing
process. It was useful for the nurturing
part of the therapeutic parenting.
It helped to recreate the playfulness
that was needed to build a stronger bond.
The Theraplay Institute
Articles
The following are by Nancy Thomas:
Emotional Heart Transplant
Liar Liar Pants on Fire
Consequencing
The Aftermath of Telling Secrets
The Power of Prayer in Parenting
The Steel Box with a Velvet Lining
Parenting a Poorly Attached Child
by Daniel Hughes
Parents as Partners When Treating Attachment Disorder
by Joanne May
Welcome to Holland
by Emily Pearl Kingsley - from the ADSG site
The Longest Ride
by Lynda Gianforte Mansfield - from the ADSG site
Antecedents to Lying and Teaching the Truth
by Deborah Hage
"Going To Your Room" Practice
by Deborah Hage
Paradoxical Techniques
by Deborah Hage
Children Behave the Way They Behave
by Deborah Hage
Going and Growing through Grief and Loss:
Parenting Traumatized Adopted Children
by Dee A. Paddock
Principles of Working with Traumatized Children
by Bruce Perry
The Impact of Abuse and Neglect on the Developing Brain
by Bruce Perry
Bonding & Attachment in Maltreated Children
by Bruce Perry
Bonding and Attachment in Maltreated Children: How you can help
by Bruce Perry
Neglect in Childhood
An overview for the general reader
by Bruce Perry
Parenting
by Susan Ward owner of the great site
Older Child Adoption Online Magazine
Depression and PTSD in Parents!
The children often suffer from Depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Parents often suffer from Depression, Secondary PTSD and the grief that comes with the death of their dream child and family. It is important for you to know the signs of both. Here are some links to help.
Depression and the Child with Attachment Disorder
by Beverly White
National Center for PTSD
PTSD
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
in Families with Attachment Disordered Children
Child Development
I found a little brush up on child development helped me better understand the importance of what my son missed.
Attachment as a Context for Development
by Nicola Atwool
The Adopted Child's Changing View
From CASE
Following
Adoption
Dianne Kuchlak, LCSW
DCKUCHLAK@aol.com
Nancy
Geoghegan
610-255-3664
nancyjhg@comcast.net
Mailing
Address
119 Liberti Lane
Lincoln University, PA 19352
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